(Surprise! After last week’s community vote, we’ve moved our drops to Sunday PM so this newsletter isn’t competing with your Monday AM work emails. You get to hang out with me first 🙂 )

Last Friday, I woke up with sharp, unexpected knee pain. Not general soreness, either. Real swelling accompanied by real struggles walking. Three weeks post-surgery, past the typical infection window…

Alarm bells. Urgent care. Scans. Blood work. Then the double hit:
→ Tricompartmental osteoarthritis… at 33.
→ An infection with no clear source.

All stemming from a basketball injury in September 2024 — one that wasn’t even supposed to be medically possible. And yet, it keeps giving.

I’ve been working relentlessly to rebuild: surgery after surgery, all in pursuit of normalcy. This felt like a brutal derailment. Not just physical, but mental. My first reaction was helplessness. The kind that hits even when you’re doing everything right.

Nearly nine months later, this injury still finds ways to shake me. I had travel plans this weekend, and I stuck to them. Since I can’t drive yet, I spent hours in the passenger seat sitting with the news, processing.

That stillness made space for the harder question: How do we handle bad news?
Not fix it. Just sit with it. Grieve what’s changed. Let it land.

One thing I noticed in myself: a reflex toward “toxic positivity.” As a solutions-focused person, I usually skip straight to “what’s next?” But this time, I let it hurt. Let myself sink for a bit.

And weirdly… that helped. Because when you let yourself feel the lows fully, the highs land deeper. Every small win after that feels hard-earned.

It’s not just about bouncing back. It’s about integrating the fall.

Before we dive into a framework for handling bad news, let's clarify a couple of terms that will be important:

Toxic Positivity: You’ve likely encountered this. It’s the pressure to maintain an exclusively positive outlook, no matter how dire the circumstances. It dismisses difficult emotions and can make people feel invalidated for experiencing genuine pain, sadness, or frustration. True strength isn't about never feeling bad; it's about acknowledging those feelings authentically without letting them permanently derail you.

Mental Elasticity: Think of this as your mind's ability to stretch, adapt, and bounce back when faced with adversity, stress, or trauma. It's not about being rigid or unbreakable, but flexible and resilient. Each challenge, once navigated, expands capacity to handle future difficulties – like your emotional "table" getting a little bit larger and stronger over time.

Understanding these concepts helps us approach "handling bad news" with more nuance and self-compassion, setting the stage for healthier, more effective coping strategies.

Understanding concepts like "toxic positivity" and "mental elasticity" is the first step. Now, how do we apply them?

Facing bad news isn't about a single reaction; it's a process. Here's a 3-key framework I’ve lived and built to navigate it.

Key 1: Allow the Impact (Feel, Grieve, Accept)

When bad news hits, our instinct might be to jump to solutions. Or worse, to suppress the difficult emotions. That’s where "toxic positivity" can creep in, telling us to "just be positive" when we're genuinely hurting.

But as I rediscovered last week, there's power in allowing yourself to feel the full weight. Letting that news of osteoarthritis and infection truly sink in, letting myself feel that helplessness, was crucial.

It's okay to "sink low mentally" for a bit. This isn't weakness; it's acknowledging reality. We need to grieve losses, even those not related to death. The loss of health, plans, normalcy – these are all valid.

Athletes grieve a season-ending injury or a devastating loss. They process it before they can truly start rebuilding. Professionally, it’s acknowledging the sting of a layoff, or the disappointment of a project failing, before strategizing next steps.

Actionable Tip: Conscious Pause & Permission

Give yourself permission and dedicated time to feel. Don't rush to "fix it" or "get over it." Acknowledge the emotions without judgment. This is step one.

Key 2: Reframe for Purpose (Find the Silver Lining or Lesson)

Once you've allowed the initial impact, the work of reframing begins. This is where pain can start to transform into purpose. It's not about pretending the bad news isn't bad. It's about actively searching for what it might enable.

As I sat with my thoughts last week, this certain distant idea reemerged: "...when the goal...doesn’t seem remotely attainable, that’s where you have the chance to make the largest step forward in your development as a person."

That’s a reframe. This setback, however painful, is also an opportunity for profound growth.

Athletes often find new strengths or perspectives during injury. They study the game, mentor younger players, develop mental toughness. A tough loss can reveal critical areas for improvement, fueling a more focused and determined comeback.

In business, a failed product launch provides invaluable market and career lessons. A layoff can be the catalyst (as it was for me, twice) for a new, more aligned path.

Actionable Tip: Ask "What Can This Teach/Create?"

Beyond the pain, actively look for the lesson. What new skill might this situation demand I learn? What new perspective can I gain? What door might this open?

Even finding a tiny sliver of potential good can shift your energy. It’s extremely difficult, but worth the emotional investment for long-term growth.

Key 3: Cultivate Mental Elasticity (Build Your Bounce & Act)

Bad news tests our limits. It stretches us. This is where "mental elasticity" comes into play. It’s the ability to absorb the shock, adapt, and bounce back, often stronger or more capable.

My realization that my "emotional table" could get larger is about this elasticity. As I mentioned in the overview, each challenge, once navigated, expands capacity. It’s not about being impervious to pain. It's about how you respond and reintegrate after being stretched.

This involves taking constructive action, however small. For me, it was starting the antibiotics, yes. But also, the mental act of deciding to share this, to build this framework, is an action – turning experience into teaching.

Athletes build this through rigorous training. They face controlled adversity daily, so game-day pressure feels familiar. They practice not just skills, but their response to mistakes.

Professionals build it by navigating complex projects, handling difficult clients, or leading teams through uncertainty. Each experience, reviewed and learned from, strengthens that elasticity.

Actionable Tip: Take One Constructive Step

Once you've felt it and reframed it, identify one thing you can do. It doesn’t have to be monumental. A small, forward action. This shifts you from passive recipient to active agent.

It starts to build back your sense of control and momentum. And as we’ve discussed before, the first step of an journey is the most important.

Post-Game Recap: Navigating the Unavoidable

Bad news is an inevitable part of life's journey. While we can't always control the events, we can control our process for navigating them, moving beyond "toxic positivity" to authentic resilience.

It starts with genuinely Allowing the Impact and giving space for real emotions. Then, consciously working to Reframe for Purpose, seeking lessons or silver linings. And finally, intentionally Cultivating our Mental Elasticity to adapt, act, and bounce forward, often stronger than before.

It’s in these tough stretches, by processing authentically and acting constructively, that we discover the full extent of our resilience and find our path to truly "elevate from the ashes."

I truly hope this week’s discussion on handling bad news provides a useful framework and some perspective for navigating those inevitable tough moments. Remember, building that mental elasticity is an ongoing process.

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Finally, I’ve got a treat for those of you who read all the way through. I’m running a giveaway for the next 8 days! I announced it on LinkedIn last week. Let me know if you’d like to be included in the poll below: